God made a Life Album for my little family. But sometimes He only lets me look at a few pages. He has already written our story and has chosen us to tell it a little bit at a time. We are not the authors so it is silly that we try to "write" our own paragraphs the way we want it to be. If we were given the pen, the ending of the story would be MUCH different and NOT as awesome and amazing as it would be with God's ending. We don't know what God has planned for us so it makes sense that us humans tend to freak out and try to do it on our own. God has already written it, we just need to play our parts and trust Him. Even when we are in our most vulnerable, scary, life changing moments, we need to give it to God. That is something that Aaron and I have encountered MANY MANY times these past 4 months alone. There have been many unbearable times when it was just Noah and I while Aaron had to go back to work. Many times have I been on the edge wanting to give up and think that I can't get through this another day. To watch your child struggle day in and day out. To not know if he was going to "wake up" to be himself. Watching his silents cries. Struggling with the doctors. Watching him struggle with every breath. It is all too much to do it alone. And even though we are in a pit of our struggles, that is when Satan attacks us even more. That is when my most desperate prayers are said. There is a song that I keep listening to and I feel it is our theme song. "Better Than a Hallelujah" Just listen to the words... they hit it spot on.


Other lessons I have learned are that sometimes God just needs you to ask. He WANTS you to ask! I have asked for simple everyday things. I have even given him a date of when I would want it answered. I prayed so long and hard for things that we tend to forget about.... Noah's smile for instance. I desperately prayed that God would let me see him smile just once by Christmas. I prayed for this because we still did not know if he had any brain damage from his cardiac arrest. It had been 40 days that we went with out a smile. God not only answered my request EARLY, but blessed me with way more than just one!


Ok... now for an update....

Noah is doing so well with his feeds! He is currently on 3/4 strength Pediasure and tomorrow they will go to full strength.
A few days ago, he had severe diarrhea with vomiting so they tested him for a bacterial sickness called c-diff. This puts him in isolation until the test came back negative. Unfortunately, it came back positive. So he was started on antibiotics and will remain in isolation for the remainder of this hospitalization. He already seems to be on the mend once the antibiotics were started.
His respiratory status has greatly improved this past week. He is now on a half liter of O2. They have also told us that we can give him breaks during the day.
More and more monitors are being removed because he is showing consistent stability! I LOVE it when they start taking stuff like this away!

Please pray for continued toleration of his feed. Pray for Aaron and I to get the rest we need. Pray for Noah's illness with the c-diff to go away quickly. Thank you!